In The Apartment Complex

Hey asshole,

The speed limit is 5 for a reason.  This is a parking lot, not the high way.  If I look out my window one more time and see you almost hit that kid, believe me, I will do a swan dive off of my balcony and proceed to beat your skull in with my plastic woofle bat.  Nobody in this complex thinks you’re a badass for speeding around the place.  Roll your windows up and turn your shitty rap down too.  You’re a fucking loser.

Random thought :  If the gate is closed and you are trying to get in but you don’t know the code, pull up a little bit and U-Turn.  You are able to make that u-turn for a reason.  Don’t make me wait behind you while you take out your cell phone and make call after call to your buddy who isn’t answering their phone.  I know the gate code.  You clearly do not.  Get the fuck out of my way prick bitch.